Woman urges Singaporeans to 'look up and listen' after helping several domestic violence victims in her neighbourhood

After coming across three instances of domestic violence at her neighbourhood in the last six months, Tiktok user Faithjoycekoh decided to take to the platform to raise some awareness about the behaviour.

Garnering over 200,000 views, 1,200 comments and 1,600 shares for her TikTok video posted on July 28, Koh wrote: "Domestic violence is common in Singapore. Be the voice of help. Singapore is not as safe as we think it is."

She then shared about her first encounter, and how it took place when she was walking back to her apartment at around midnight.  

She said she saw a school boy sitting at her block's HDB void deck "pretending to read a school book".

Concerned about the boy, Koh asked the boy why he wasn't home.

"He said his father locked him out of the house and he had nowhere to go. So, he was just going to sit there and go to school the next day," said Koh.

@faithjoycekoh

 

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When she probed the boy further, Koh said the boy told her that he had been both mentally and physically abused by his father.

Koh then shared that she brought the boy home, fed him and let him stay there overnight.

"The following day, we sent the boy to school and spoke to the principal and let the social workers take care of it," said Koh.

The second incident happened to her neighbour, a young girl that Koh said "had been screaming and crying for the whole week."

"I kept hearing this male voice shouting at her and threatening her to hit her and so on and so forth in Hokkien," Koh added.

She then said in her TikTok video that she called the police on the girl's father.

"I never heard her screaming and crying again. And I never heard the guy's voice again," she said.

On her third encounter, Koh shared that she witnessed a woman getting choked by her ex-boyfriend "at least ten times and almost died".

Koh mentioned that she wanted to call the police but at that point of time, she didn't have her phone with her.

"I begged some taxi driver to get help to call 999 or intervene," Koh said.

But the taxi driver allegedly refused to do so, and by the time she tried to offer help, both the female victim and the abusive ex-boyfriend had already left the scene.

Koh said: "I went home, got my phone and called 999 and went to look for them."

When she found the abusive ex-boyfriend in the vicinity, she said she directed the police to him and gave her testimony as well.

Koh shared that on her way home, she spotted the victim who was vomiting by the side of the road.

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On how the incident of this woman being choked had taken place at a crowded area, Koh said she was frustrated no one offered their assistance to the woman or even called the police.

"I just feel like everyone's sitting in their own bubble on their phones. We are not looking out, listening out and noticing these things," she said, adding that she's a domestic violence victim herself. 

She added that she makes it a point not to look at her phone or listen to music when she's on public transport but to keep her eyes and ears peeled for people around her who may need help.

Koh said that members of the public, if they come across such incidents, should offer to help as victims of domestic abuse are "sometimes emotionally manipulated".

"They need people like us to help them get out of the situation, or else they will be forever trapped." she added.

"Look up and listen."

AsiaOne has reached out to Koh for comment.

'When there is violence, we must help'

Earlier this year, Minister of State for National Development Muhammad Faishal Ibrahim said that a mindset shift might be needed among Singaporeans when it comes to reporting abuse.

"There is a Malay saying - 'jangan jaga tepi kain orang', which means to not pay mind to other people's business. In our culture, we tend to be shy to intervene because we don't want to interfere in family matters," he said.

"But when there is violence, we must help. The intention is not to be a 'busybody', but to help, and provide support."

According to police statistics, more people in Singapore made police reports on family violence in 2021, with a total of 5,190 reports filed, up from 5,134 in 2020. 

The National Anti-Violence and Sexual Harassment Helpline (NAVH) also said it received more calls in 2022 with 10,800 made, up from 8,400 in 2021.

The Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) has also been running the Break the Silence campaign since 2016 to raise awareness of abuse.

The campaign was refreshed in 2021 to increase awareness of the different forms of abuse and to introduce the Signal For Help hand gesture, so that survivors can discreetly call for help.

And in 2022, MSF also launched an online text-based channel as an additional mode of reporting for the NAVH to make the reporting of cases of violence easier.

In July this year, the government updated the Women’s Charter (Family Violence and Other Matters) Bill to better protect survivors of family violence, as well as enhance the rehabilitation and accountability of perpetrators.

Helplines:

• National Anti-Violence and Sexual Harassment Helpline (NAVH): 1800-777-0000 (24 hours)
• NAVH’s Online Reporting Form: https://go.gov.sg/navh
• Aware Helpline:1800-777-5555
• Pave: 6555-0390, [email protected]
• Trans Centre’s Stop Abuse in Families Programme: 6449-0672, [email protected]
• Care Corner Project StART: 6476-1482, [email protected]
• Family Service Centres Hotline: 1800-222-0000

 

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