Woman refuses to change baby's diapers, called out by husband for her 'attitude'

Making that giant leap from coupledom to having a baby is an exciting journey. However, not managing the transition well can make it extremely exhausting. And things can even get toxic. 

That’s why it’s important that couples make a proper parenting duties list. There are parents who work on a roster system and there are some who flatly refuse to do things for their own reasons.

For instance, this mum’s aversion to poop made it certain that it would be the husband handling poo duties after having a baby.

But now, her husband has had enough!

Dad given permanent poop duty in parenting duties list

The mum wrote in her post on Reddit, “I have always had a very tough time dealing with anything that seems gross. Anything that has a strong putrid smell makes my eyes water and throws me into a retching fit.

For this reason, she had resigned herself to living a child-free life, until she met her husband who’s a “very family person”.

They discussed at length about her aversion to poop and he assured her that if they did have kids, he would deal with everything which she can’t stomach. 

She further made it clear to the readers that she absolutely loves her daughter and there are no two ways about it.

“I change all the pee diapers and can handle the spit up too. I manage the laundry and bottle cleaning. The one thing which I will not do as per my agreement with my husband is changing the little one’s poopy diapers,” wrote the mum. 

Things were going fine, until a 'poop-splosion'

The mum continued, “The other night she had a huge explosion around 2am. I heard her crying on the baby monitor and so went to check on her. It had gone all the way up her hair. Everything was soiled, including the mattress cover and the mattress.”

She narrated how her eyes were starting to burn so she quickly ran to inform her husband. He came and cleaned the entire mess, while she worked on soothing her baby and getting her back to sleep. 

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The next morning, the husband was still in a sour mood. When she confronted him about it, he said that he’d slept “horribly”.

The husband started accusing her of not helping her enough and that he was sick of being on constant “poop duty”.

She reminded him of the agreement they had and added that she does plenty of other things when it comes to taking care of their baby daughter. 

The mum shared, “We are currently on parental leave and it’s not like he needed to be up early for work or anything.”

It’s been a few days since that incident happened but the husband continues to give the mum attitude whenever she asks him to change a nappy. 

'You need to get over your issues of things being gross'

The post was polarising, with some netizens finding it silly on part of the woman and others giving her support. 

A mum wrote, “It’s high time that you actually need to get over your issue of thinking things to be gross. Kids will have their gross moments for years. I am surprised, why did you have a kid if you are not accepting all the aspects of having one.”

Another reminded her, “Grow up! No one likes cleaning up poop but it has to be done. You are being incredibly selfish and immature.”

Another user commented, “Do you really think she won’t poop while Daddy isn’t around? This is on you. In spite of knowing everything you still agreed to give birth on such a mindless agreement.”

What do you think of the entire issue? Do you feel the husband has the right to be upset? Or should the woman stick to her stance since that’s what was agreed upon?

3 things to remember when making a parenting duties list

It’s better to accept that chores and housework are unavoidable, and there can’t be an ideal division of labour. However, when parents cooperate, and most importantly communicate well, things kind of fall into place. 

1. Don’t go for a 50-50 division of labour

Parents, it’s about helping each other and not a competition of who has done more work. When you sit down to make the parenting duties list, don’t aim for a straight 50-50 division of labour because that’s practically impossible. 

You should instead try to balance the load in a way that can keep both of you feeling happy, productive and appreciated.

2. Communicate well

It is important that you communicate well and tell each other what you need and want. 

When you need help, don’t hesitate to ask for it. It’s always better if you can clearly elaborate on what kind of help you want. For example, “You play with the baby, while I will go and get the groceries.”

If you find that you have been fighting over household responsibilities too often, then you need to set aside some time for yourselves. Take time to cool down and then figure out where the problem is so that you can address it properly. 

3. Don’t chase perfection

It is not only futile but extremely exhausting if you aim to attain perfection in everything related to the baby. If you have hopes that your house will remain clean as it was during the pre-children era, you are mistaken. Your house doesn’t need to be spotless.

Talk to your partner about the minimum level of cleanliness that you can adhere to. You can always save the big cleanups for the weekends or hire a housecleaning service. 

While you are trying to adjust your life around a newborn and deal with the challenges, don’t forget to enjoy the moment. Try to sneak in more time with your baby and create lovely memories, which you want to hold onto forever.

Having children can be troublesome as much as it’s rewarding. But once you get the hang of it, things do become easier.

Moreover, seeing your little one grow and achieve new milestones will only make the effort worth it. As a couple though, remember to support each other through thick and thin. 

This article was first published in theAsianparent.