Potty training: When to start and tips on teaching your toddler

Put a group of mums in a room and ask them how they go about potty training their children, and you'll likely get almost as many different answers as there are mums present.

Why is that? It's because there's more than one way to get to 'the land of no diapers'.

I have four children — all of whom have distinct personalities and were potty trained in the same way, but with a few tweaks here and there to suit each one's personality.

My son, Zach, loved to race his trucks and wanted to be the winner. Seeing this winner's spirit in him, I used it to encourage him to 'win' prizes for staying dry. By the time he was 28 months, he was diaper-free and had very few accidents.

What is potty training?

Potty training is the process of teaching your child to use the toilet.

It's a big step for your child, and it can be a little scary at first. But with some practice and patience, your child will soon be able to tell you when they need to use the bathroom.

Potty training is different for every child. Some kids are ready to start potty training as early as 18 months old while others may take longer to learn how to use the toilet.

At what age should a child start potty training?

At what age should a child start potty training?

The answer to this question depends on the child, of course. But some general guidelines apply to most kids.

If your child is under 18 months old and isn't interested in using the toilet, you may want to hold off on potty training for now. It's normal for toddlers not to be ready for this kind of thing until they're closer to two years old. So don't put too much pressure on yourself or your child if he or she doesn't seem interested in using the bathroom yet!

If your kid is between 18 months and three years old, it's probably time to start thinking about toilet training. This is around when most kids can understand what it means when they go pee-pee or poo-poo on their pants — so you must begin preparing them for what will come next!

You must not rush into anything, though you'll want plenty of opportunities for practice before introducing any formal potty training schedule into your routine. Try letting your toddler wear pull-up diapers until he or she can consistently go pee-pee.

 

How to tell when to start potty training?

You'll know when you're ready to start potty training your child. Here are some signs that it's time:

• Your child has been showing interest in the toilet
• Your child can stay "dry" for more than two hours (check their diapers)
• Your child is interested in wearing big kid underwear
• Your child can already communicate with you when they "need to go"
• Your child can follow simple directions, like "put this toy in the trunk"
• Your child has developed a good grasp of numbers, letters and colours

Know your child and the potty training method that would suit them

Do you know what they say about trying to fit a square peg into a round hole? Well, the same holds for your kids.

Knowing how to appeal to their sense of accomplishment is where it's at when it comes to motivating them to learn to go on the big potty and start potty training.

Types of potty training

There are a few different types of potty training.

• Cold turkey

One is the 'cold turkey' method, where you just take your kid to the bathroom every 15 minutes and hope for the best. This can be effective in some cases, but there's a risk that your kid will never get it.

• Elimination communication

Another method is the 'elimination communication' approach, which means that you basically just follow your baby around all day and let them know when they have to go so they can learn how to communicate with you about it. This is hard if you have a full-time job, though.

• Watch and wait

The 'watch-and-wait' method is called 'child-led learning' because kids are given freedom over how they want to learn and when they want to learn.

Parents don't put any pressure on their kids; instead, they wait until the child is ready on his or her terms before starting any formal training process. This method can be good for parents with busy schedules or those who have trouble getting up early enough in the morning for proper training sessions.

• Gradual readiness

The most commonly used method is 'gradual readiness', which means teaching kids when they're ready and giving them lots of practice at being on the toilet before making them go on their own. It takes time, but it's proven effective with many families.

Best practices on potty training a toddler

Potty training is a significant milestone in a toddler's development. While it can be a challenging process, using the right approach and techniques can make it smoother for both the child and the parent.

Here are some best practices to help you navigate through this phase and achieve successful potty training:

• Start at the right time

Look for signs of readiness in your toddler, such as showing interest in the bathroom, staying dry for longer periods, or expressing discomfort with wet diapers.

It's crucial to begin potty training when your child is physically and emotionally ready. Do not be in a hurry, mum, it will happen when your toddler is ready.

• Prepare the equipment

You may want to invest in a potty chair or a toilet seat adapter. Let your toddler pick a design they like to make the experience more enjoyable.

Also, buy some pull-up diapers or training pants for night-time potty training and some wipes and towels in case of accidents.

Encourage your toddler to sit on the potty chair with clothes on at first, with their feet touching the floor for support and make them comfortable while using the potty.

You may have to model how to do it, and you can also get quite graphic and dump the contents of a dirty diaper into the potty chair and toilet to show their purpose. Have your child flush the toilet.

• Create a potty zone

Designate a potty area in the house, easily accessible to your child. Having a dedicated spot can reinforce the association between the place and the potty routine.

Have your potty training essentials ready and stationed in the bathroom, or initially, wherever your child is spending most of their time in.

• Dress for success

Dress your toddler in clothes that are easy to take off quickly, allowing them to access the potty without any obstacles.

• Establish a routine

Create a consistent potty schedule to help your child recognise when it's time to go. Encourage them to use the potty at regular intervals, like after meals or before bedtime.

Have your child sit on the potty chair or toilet without a diaper for a few minutes at two-hour intervals, as well as first thing in the morning and right after naps.

This is why it's not advisable to start potty training when you're going somewhere on vacation, when your child is sick, or at any point where there will be distractions and you will not be able to stick to a routine.

• Get there in a flash

When you observe signs that your child may need to use the toilet, such as squirming, squatting, or holding the genital area, it is essential to act promptly.

Help your child become familiar with these signals, stop whatever they are doing, and guide them to the toilet.

For this step to be a success, you also need to stop whatever you're doing and help your child potty train. This will be worth it when they finally learn how to do it independently. Praise your child for communicating with you when they need to go.

• Use positive reinforcement

Celebrate every successful attempt, no matter how small.

Offer praise, claps, or a special reward to encourage your toddler's progress and build their confidence. You can even let them catch you bragging to someone else about how terrific they were.

• Accidents happen – don't make a big deal out of it

Be patient and understanding when accidents occur. Avoid scolding or shaming your child, no matter how frustrated you are.

Reacting negatively may discourage your child, so instead, stay calm and reassure them that it's okay.

You can say: "You forgot this time. Next time you'll get to the bathroom sooner."

• Use books and videos

Introduce potty training books or videos that depict characters going through the same experience. It can help your toddler relate to the process and make it seem more exciting.

• Teach proper hygiene

Teach girls to spread their legs and wipe carefully from front to back to prevent bringing germs from the rectum to the vagina or bladder.

And remind your child about washing hands after using the potty. This habit promotes good hygiene and prevents the spread of germs.

• Consistency is key

Stick to the potty training routine consistently. Avoid switching back to diapers after starting the process, as it may confuse your child.

Remember, every child is unique, and the potty training journey may vary for each one. Stay patient and encouraging, and celebrate progress no matter how small. With time and dedication, your toddler will master this milestone.

Night-time potty training

It's important to remember that night-time toilet training may take longer than daytime training, and each child progresses at their own pace. The key is patience and understanding while setting realistic expectations.

Children around three and a half to four years old may begin to consistently have dry nights, indicating they are developmentally ready to start night-time toilet training.

To assist your child, ensure they empty their bladder before bedtime and throughout the night if needed. Keeping the bathroom well-lit with nightlights can help them navigate safely during nighttime bathroom trips.

Adjusting fluid intake, providing easy-to-wear pyjamas, and offering rewards for dry nights can all encourage success.

Reminder for parents potty training their toddlers

Here are a few expert tips that have worked for other mums when it comes to potty training:

• Don't be embarrassed to allow your toddler to see you use the bathroom. You hopefully don't leave them waiting outside the door in public restrooms, so making it a natural thing will encourage your child to use the 'big potty'.
• Go slow. Don't wake up one day with the idea of succeeding in potty training. Start out by sitting them on the toilet to do their hair or put their clothes on after a bath. Set them on the toilet before they get into the tub, after a nap and before bedtime to see if they can go potty. If not, no big deal. Just tell them, 'maybe next time'.
• Be observant. Do they have a bowel movement shortly after breakfast every morning? If so, then that would be the time to set them on the potty. The same applies to drinking. Wait 15 to 30 minutes before setting them on the potty.
• Be patient and calm. If a child is scratched by a cat or bitten by a dog, they are naturally going to be afraid of all dogs and cats until they learn to differentiate between friendly and not-so-friendly animals. If you yell, force or take a negative attitude, they're going to view the potty as their enemy.
• Be persistent but not pushy.

How long should potty training take?

According to an article from the University of California, most children complete potty training by 36 months. The average length it takes toddlers to learn the process is about six months. But again, every child develops at their own pace.

While I will never be convinced a child needs to wait until they are three (or even older) to begin the process of potty training, it is also unreasonable and unfair to put an expiration date on a toddler's potty training.

No two children are alike. Some need a bit more patience and coercion than others. But don't worry, how many children in kindergarten do you know who are still wearing diapers?

Tell us if these potty training tips were helpful to you!

ALSO READ: Can you eat spicy food when breastfeeding?

This article was first published in theAsianparent.